Chicago Dungeon Glossary
24/7
Refers to a lifestyle relationship in which partners are living together full time in an erotic power exchange. The term is an abbreviation of 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
AB
Common abbreviation for adult baby.
ABDL
Common abbreviation for adult baby diaper lover.
Aby
Common abbreviation for adult baby.
Adult Baby
One who gets erotic and/or emotional pleasure from acting and/or being treated like an infant, toddler, or very young child.
Age Play
Role play based on specific age identity, often when a dominant assumes the role of an adult and the submissive assumes the role of a child. Age play is usually role play only, but some extend it to a lifestyle and always remain in role.
Androgynosexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to both men and women with an androgynous appearance.
Androsexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to men.
Animal Training
Fantasy role play in which the dominant is an animal trainer/owner and the submissive is an animal. Pony play and dog play are the two most
popular forms this takes. Other popular animal roles include cats, kittens, tigers, pigs, cows, and worms. Activities may include obedience training, exercise training, paper training, crate training, caging, harnessing, driving, and riding.
Arse Play
Any play involving the ass.
Asexual
Someone who does not experience sexual attraction.
Autosexual
Someone who prefers masturbation to sexual activity with others.
Bastinado
A type of punishment involving beating the soles of the feet.
B&D
Acronym for bondage and discipline. Also written as BD or B/D. The term is properly used to refer to bondage and discipline without pain (S&M) and defined power roles (D&S).
BDSM
Acronym for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism.
Bear
A hairy gay man, often large and/or muscular, who typically smokes cigars and wears certain clothing often associated with the distinction like denim and leather.
Belting
The use of a belt during punishment.
Bi-Kinky
Someone who is heterosexual when it comes to sex, but who will do BDSM and/or kink with same sex partners.
Bi-Possible
Someone who is heterosexual, but may be willing to explore bisexual scenarios within a power dynamic.
Birching
Striking with a light bundle of twigs, traditionally made from the birch tree.
Birch Rod
Often shortened to "birch." A bundle of leafless twigs bound together to form an implement for administering corporal punishment. Contrary to what the name suggests, a birch rod is not a single rod and is not necessarily made from birch twigs, but can also be made from various other strong and smooth branches of trees or shrubs, such as willow.
Bisexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to two genders.
Blindfolding
Temporarily blocking the sense of sight. It is a common technique in BDSM scenes. It can make the bottom feel more vulnerable and help them concentrate. It is essential to the sorts of abrasion and surface play games where everyday objects are used to give unexpected sensations.
Blood Sports
Radical S&M play involving cutting, piercing, or anything else which deliberately draws blood.
Body Modification
Making alterations to the appearance of the body. This includes tattooing, branding, corseting, piercing, binding, cutting, and any other things people do to alter their body in primitive ways.
Body Service
When a submissive takes care of all the Dominant's bodily needs, acting as a trained servant in bathing, shaving, hairstyling, manicures, pedicures, and other hygiene and grooming rituals.
Body Worship
Oral service by a submissive to a dominant, including licking, sucking, and kissing. It implies no taboos or inhibitions about oral contact with any and all body parts.
Bondage
The restriction of the body's movements using any method. This can be any part of or the entire body. There are three basic types; suspension, compression, and extension.
Bootboy
Submissive, usually gay, male who has a fetish for leather boots worn by tops, and who frequently works at a leather bar or charitable event shining shoes. The conclusion to the shoe shining often is oral service to the boots.
Bootlicking
A common practice for domination and humiliation purposes or sometimes just as a means of indulging a fetish for boots.
Bottom
Also known as submissive, sub, subbie, boy, girl, or slave. The person
who is the recipient of stimulation, bondage, pain, etc. in a BDSM
scene. The bottom may or may not have a power relationship with the
top.
Boy
Widely applied to male submissives. The title has special meaning in
gay leather culture, where it may also refer to the submissive partner
in a Daddy/boy relationship. Also used in lesbian culture to denote a
male-identified (but biologically female) bottom.
Branding
The use of a hot metal object to scar the body. Sometimes seen as the
"ultimate" act of submission.
Breath Play
A form of edge-play where the lack of oxygen is used for stimulation. The
top restricts the bottom's ability to breathe, either by constricting
the neck or by blocking the mouth or nose. It's important to point out
that this is done for extremely tiny intervals, and seldom to the point
of unconsciousness. This form of play is extremely dangerous,
especially when done alone. Many have died during this form of play.
Brown Showers
Being pooped on or doing the pooping on someone. Often the giver
will take an enema and spray it over the receiver.
Bullwhip
A very long and heavy plaited leather whip.
Butterfly Board
Toy used in some play piercing games. A board with a hole cut in it is
placed over the male genitals. The cock and balls are pulled through
the hole and the skin of the edges of the cock and scrotum is pinned
with needles or nails to the board.
Butt Plug
Object designed to be inserted into the rectum and shaped so that it
stays in position by trapping the sphincter between the bulk of the plug
and the wide flanged base.
Caging
Form of bondage, beloved of those into prisoner and animal training
scenes, where the submissive is placed in a cage and kept there for a
period of time.
Caning
Striking with a thin flexible rod, traditionally made of rattan, as in
the old-style school punishment, typically across the buttocks.
Cat
A multi-tailed whip with weighted and/or cutting ends, from the
traditional naval punishment implement, the Cat o' Nine Tails.
Catheter
A flexible tube used in medical scenes. Most often a Foley catheter,
which has a balloon that can be inflated with sterile water to hold it
in place, once inserted. It is inserted into the bladder, via the penis
or vagina, as a form of control in S&M play. The bottom can be forced
to release his/her bladder, sometimes into a container from which the
bottom is made to drink his/her own urine, which is sterile.
CBT
Acronym for cock and ball torture. Refers to any sadistic play with
male genitalia.
Chastity
In S&M circles, most likely to mean banning or physically preventing
someone from achieving orgasm or any form of genital stimulation in the
long term, usually as a means of asserting domination. Also known as
enforced chastity (EC). A device intended for this purpose is known as
a chastity belt or a chastity device. Wearing such a device is a form
of bondage.
Clamp/Clip
Gripping device that can be used to put pressure on suitable body sites,
notably nipples, cunts, balls, loose body skin, and so on. Sometimes
weight is added to the clamp to intensify the sensation.
Cock Ring
Rubber, leather, or metal ring that slips around the base of the cock
and balls, usually applied when the penis is flaccid. As the penis
becomes erect, the ring creates a bondage sensation and prevents blood
from flowing out of the penis, once it becomes engorged. Thus,
sustaining the erection longer. Mistress Madeline has a wide variety of
these in Her arsenal.
Collar
A device worn around the neck usually made of leather, rubber, or
metal. Collaring is a ceremony in which a submissive formally accepts
the Dominant's collar and becomes officially owned. It is the BDSM
equivalent of a wedding, and is sometimes witnessed by friends and other
people friendly to the lifestyle. Collars are worn by many submissives
in scenes, but they are not necessarily formally collared (owned).
Corporal Punishment
Refers to the activities of caning, paddling, flogging, whipping, and
spanking. Often implies some form of role-play in which the bottom is
punished, especially re-enactments of real life corporal punishment
situations, such as a naughty schoolboy being caned by his teacher.
Corset
A close fitting, boned, supporting undergarment that is often hooked and
laced and that extends from above or beneath the bust or from the waist
to below the hips and often has garters attached. Both male and female
corset fetishists enjoy modifying the shape of their torso and,
sometimes, hips and thighs through the use of a corset. Readily
available, they have become a popular piece of fetish attire.
Cross
An item of bondage furniture, usually constructed of wood. It is often
equipped with extra fixtures, for binding a person, particularly in
preparation for flogging and whipping scenes. The familiar straight
cross is known as a St. George's cross. An X-shaped cross is known as a
St. Andrew's cross.
Cross-dressing
Dressing in clothing usually worn by the opposite sex. In a sexual
context, it can be carried out as a sexual thrill in itself, in which
case it is known as transvestitism. However, it is also employed in
power and humiliation games, and seems most common in the heterosexual
BDSM scene, where male bottoms are instructed to wear female clothing
and even wigs and makeup by female tops.
Crushing
Also known as stomping. An S&M/fetish activity in which the bottom is
aroused by the Dominant crushing objects with his/her bare feet, shoes,
or boots. The objects range from food to household items. Edgy
crushing fetishists fantasize about having their cock and, particularly,
balls crushed by a Dominant. Unfortunately, some even enjoy seeing
living beings crushed.
CT
Acronym for cunt torture. Any form of intense stimulation inflicted on
the female genitals.
Cub
A term used to describe a male submissive who likes Bears.
Cuff
A metal, rubber, or leather bondage item that locks around an ankle,
thumb, thigh, wrist, etc. As a verb, to place someone in such an item.
Cupping
The placing of suction devices on the skin, once used to draw blood to
the surface for medical leeching, but now sometimes used in scenes to
sensitize the skin, particularly nipples. Rubber suction cups, found in
snakebite kits, are often used. Other devices include plastic or glass
cups with tubes through which the air can be sucked out. Be aware that
this activity can cause welts.
Cutting
Slitting the surface of the skin with a sharp blade for the sensation or
to create decorative scars (scarification). The wound is open to
infection, so treatment with antiseptics afterward is essential.
Daddy
Anyone who assumes a paternal/mentoring role with a submissive or bottom
and, in that role, expresses a masculine identity. Daddy/boy
relationships also exist in the non-leather gay community. Among
non-kinky gays, Daddy/boy relationships are generally focused on
mentoring and care taking. Lesbian, bi and hetero women may take the
Daddy role with their partners, if they enjoy transgender play.
Demisexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to someone based on a strong emotional connection.
Depilation
The removal of hair. The removal of the pubic hair in both sexes makes
genital stimulation and bondage techniques more practical. It is
sometimes carried out on a bottom by a top, as an act of domination.
Dildo
Penis shaped toy designed for insertion into the body. They may be
handheld, strapped on with a harness to allow women to simulate male
fucking, or held in place inside the body by a harness or clothing.
Hygiene demands that you either reserve particular toys for particular
people or cover them in condoms, which are changed between different
people.
Discipline
Like many S&M terms, used rather loosely, but usually refers to the
imposition of rules of behavior on the bottom in domination scenes and
the punishments used to enforce them.
Dominant
A woman or man who assumes sexual (and possibly more far-reaching)
control over a submissive partner.
Domination
The act of controlling a submissive. This may be done in any way that
the Dominant and submissive have agreed upon.
Dominatrix
Refers specifically to the professional female dominant who charges for
staging scenes where she dominates mainly male clients. Some are
renowned for their knowledge and skill at both the psychological and
physical aspects of S&M techniques and a number have made valuable
contributions to the BDSM community.
D&S
Acronym for dominance and submission. Also written as DS, D/S, or D/s.
May be used interchangeably with B&D or S&M; or it may be used to refer
to a power relationship, where one partner is the sexual dominant and
the other is the submissive.
Dungeon
Any space set aside for S&M activity, public or private, and furnished
with some S&M equipment. Not all dungeons have large scale equipment.
Home dungeons, because of space limitations, may have only small toys.
Edge-play
S&M which is on the "edge" of safety. No area of S&M raises more
controversy, as a good number of people feel that no one should walk the
edge. Others, obviously, disagree. Examples of edge-play are cutting,
play piercing, and branding.
Electro-play
Also known as electro-torture. The use of electricity (low power) for
stimulation. Can be very safe or very dangerous. Get trained before
trying this! NEVER use it above the waist, as it could effect the
submissive's heart rate.
Endorphins
Opiate-like peptides produced by the body when under stress or pain.
Like morphine, endorphins raise the pain threshold and produce sedation
and euphoria. During some BDSM play these chemicals produce a state of
pleasure and ecstasy, sometimes referred to as "subspace."
Enema
A thorough anal douche. A lubricated tube is pushed into the rectum.
The tube is attached to a bag filled with water and, sometimes, soap.
The liquid flows into the colon. Sometimes there is a small balloon at
the tip of the enema tube, which can be inflated to help keep the water
inside.
Femme
Usually refers specifically to a feminine lesbian (may also be known as
a "lipstick lesbian").
Fetish
A substance, object, or body part which is sexually exciting. Sometimes
a fetishist may need the presence of the fetish to induce sexual
arousal.
Figging
The act of inserting a piece of ginger root into the anus or vagina. The
ginger causes an intense burning sensation and discomfort to the subject. The ginger is not only skinned but is often carved into the shape of a butt plug. If the submissive tightens the muscles of the anus, the sensation becomes more intense.
Fisting
Also known as fist fucking, FF, or handballing. Placing or attempting
to place the whole hand (or even both hands) into the rectum or vagina.
In fact, the hand is only formed into a fist, if at all, once it is
fully inserted, a process that requires a great deal of gentleness,
care, and patience. Moving the fist repeatedly in and out of the
orifice is known as punch fucking. It is a dangerous advanced technique
and relatively rare.
Flogger
Multi-tailed whip designed for striking the body.
Foot Play
Erotic interactions with feet and all forms of foot fetishism.
Foot Worship
Also called "foot service." Oral service (licking, kissing, sucking) to
feet.
Forced Feminization
When a Dominant "forces" a submissive man into feminine clothes. It is
confusing to some people that this scene is described as "forced," when
the submissive consented to it or even requested it.
Forniphilia
The fetish of being turned into human furniture
Golden Cocktail
A glass of urine intended for consumption by a urophagia enthusiast.
Golden Shower
Also known as GS or piss play. It specifically means to pee on someone
or to be peed on. However, the term is used generically to describe the
spectrum of urine play, including ingestion, wetting one's pants (or
ordering someone to wet theirs), and having one's bladder controlled (or
doing the controlling) either through verbal commands or devices which
prevent or cause urination.
Gorean
A lifestyle or erotic power exchange relationship based on the Gor
novels by John Norman.
Gothic
Also known as Goth or Gothik. A lifestyle or erotic power exchange
relationship associated with Medieval, Victorian, Vampiric, or mystical
styles of dress, appearance, music, etc. This subculture grew out of
the punk movement around 1979 with the immergence of bands like Bauhaus
and Siouxsie and the Banshees, who offered music that had more
grotesque, mysterious, and desolate themes (sometimes referred to as
Death Rock). Think pale pierced people dressed in black, wearing silver
jewelry and tattoos, sporting unnatural hair colors, and listening to
Sisters of Mercy.
Graysexual
Someone who occasionally experiences sexual attraction, but usually not.
Gynosexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to women.
Head Play
Also known as mind play, mind games, head games, head trips, and mind
fucking. This means any kind of manipulation, by the top, which
heightens anticipation and fear in an emotionally masochistic bottom and
thus intensifies the bottom's erotic response. This includes everything
from "verbal abuse" to complex scenarios that confuse or surprise the
bottom into deeper "subspace." A "mind fuck" (deliberately misleading a
partner into believing something horrible is about to happen) is the
deepest level of this play.
Heterosexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex.
Homosexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex.
Horse
Any item of furniture that a bottom can be tied down to and bent over.
Intended to expose the buttocks for some form of flagellation.
Infantilist
One who gets erotic and/or emotional pleasure from acting and/or being treated like an infant.
Infibulation
The fastening of genitals through piercing or sewing to prevent sexual
intercourse or arousal. An extreme form of chastity for both men and
women.
Kink Friendly
This describes someone who, while not necessarily kinky him or herself,
is nonetheless sympathetic and supportive to kinky people. A "kink
friendly therapist," for example, is someone who has a permissive view
of kinky sex. "Kink friendly" is also used to describe businesses which
welcome leather people as customers.
Kink Positive
Something, such as a magazine article, which portrays kinky sex in a
positive light. Also, someone who espouses positive attitudes towards
sexual diversity.
Leathermen/Leatherwomen
Long used to refer specifically to gay or lesbian leatherpeople, but now
used more generally to apply to all people committed to leather
culture. Lesbian leatherwomen may also refer to themselves as
leatherdykes.
Lifestyle
When used with "the," it usually refers to "the leather lifestyle,"
meaning people who embrace all aspects of leather culture in their
dress, sexual politics, social commitments, traditions, and sex lives.
"Being in the lifestyle" is not the same as "being a lifestyler,"
because someone "in the lifestyle" or "in the life" could be single or
otherwise uninvolved in a fulltime S&M relationship.
Lifestylers
People who assume their dominant, submissive, top, or bottom roles as a
way of life. Lifestyle relationships are role based, but not role
play. Many lifestylers are not "in the lifestyle," in that they do not participate in the organized S&M Scene, but instead conduct their S&M
relationships in privacy at home.
Limits
The basic set of physical or other limits that the bottom sets during negotiation. For example, if a bottom does not like anything more painful than erotic spanking, he may set a pain "limit" that rules out whippings and other intense stimuli. Dominants, too, have limits on how far they wish to go with a submissive.
hard limits
The maximum edge of someone's negotiated limit. In some cases, a hard limit is a personal choice; in others, it is a necessity to safeguard the submissive's health. For example, if the submissive is allergic to latex, any latex product is a "hard limit."
pushing limits
By consent, submissives agree to let the Dominant push him or her to a limit and slightly beyond. Most commonly this occurs when the submissive believes his limits stem from an irrational fear that he hopes the Dominant will help him to overcome.
respecting limits
A fundamental ethic among kinky people is to treat limits as a sacred trust, and never to violate the submissive's trust by non-consensually exceeding their limits.
stretching limits
Many submissives want to see progress in their submission and hope to be able to engage in increasingly more intense sex. When Dominants consensually "stretch" limits, they guide submissives gradually to be able to reach their goal by pushing their limits. A Dominant's limits usually stretch over time, too; usually as the Dominant gains increasing self-confidence, experience, and skill with equipment.
Masochism
Sexual gratification obtained by being subjected to pain or
humiliation. The term was coined by a German psychologist named
Krafft-Ebing; his inspiration for this term was the life of a man whose
name was Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. Leopold was a Polish writer, born in
1836. Venus in Furs is the classic novel von Sacher-Masoch wrote
detailing his masochist fantasies. This novel is the true story of one
of von Sacher-Masoch's escapades.
Masochist
One with a propensity for obtaining sexual gratification by being
subjected to pain or humiliation.
Master/Mistress
A Master is a male Dominant. A Mistress is a female Dominant. Masters
and Mistresses, as opposed to tops, always have power exchange
relationships with their partners.
Medical Scene
Play involving some form of medical procedure or scenario. Usually the
top plays the role of a doctor or nurse and the bottom plays a patient.
Typical medical scenes may involve intrusive physical examinations and
the insertion of medical equipment such as a speculum, catheter, or
sounds. Douching and enemas are commonly associated with this type of
scene.
Mummification
A specialized kind of bondage in which the whole body is wrapped tightly
using materials like cling film (Saran Wrap), bandages, or tape. The
bottom is completely immobilized. Holes are sometimes made for access
to genitals and other areas. This form of bondage is often associated
with breath play or smothering.
Munch
This term originated on the Internet, and refers to a group lunch or
brunch at a public restaurant where kinky people can make new
acquaintances or socialize with old friends in a low-key, pressure-free
"vanilla" setting.
Negotiation
The art and science of reaching a clear, consensual agreement with your
adult partner about the type of relationship you will have and the kinds
of kinky things you will do together. Couples may re-negotiate terms
periodically as their relationship evolves and their needs change.
Negotiating a "scene" involves a much narrower type of dialogue, in
which partners only decide on what they will do during a scene.
Newbie
A novice in the BDSM scene. Few people come to the scene with no
experience at all. Most have experimented on themselves or, perhaps,
persuaded vanilla partners to indulge some of their desires. A good top
will take a different approach to a novice bottom than to an experienced
one. For successful negotiation, players should be honest about their
levels of experience.
NT
Acronym for nipple torture. Any form of intense stimulation inflicted
on male or female nipples.
Objectumsexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to inanimate objects.
Paddle
A flat instrument for striking the body, particularly the buttocks.
Commonly used in spanking scenes and Teacher/student role play.
Pain Slut
A heavy masochist.
Pain Threshold
The limit at which pain ceases to be pleasure and becomes undesirable
for the submissive or bottom.
Pansexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to all people.
Pansexuality
A political, philosophical, and social movement within the organized
S&M/fetish communities which unites kinky people across orientation
lines (i.e., gay, lesbian, heterosexual, bisexual, and transgendered
together). This movement is fairly young, but already gaining
widespread acceptance in North America. Although, the old traditions of
gay-only or lesbian-only venues and events continue as well.
Politically speaking, pansexuality is a way of uniting disparate
S&M/fetish communities into a solid front which can more effectively
fight for kinky civil rights and better educate the public about the
diversity and consensuality of kinky sex. A "pansexual" event welcomes
people of all orientations. "Pansexual play" means that gay and
non-gay, alike, may engage in some non-sexual S&M acts together,
particularly in group settings (for example, a lesbian or gay man may
consent to spank members of the opposite sex at a party, though neither
would sleep with or otherwise have a romantic relationship with them).
Panty Training
When a Dominant "forces" a male submissive to wear panties and other
embarrassing bits of feminine lingerie, both to cross-dress and humiliate
him.
Parachute
A CBT device shaped like a cone, usually of leather or neoprene, with a
hole in the center and chains or cords hanging from around the bottom
rim and joined together. Used to weight the balls by placing the
parachute around them with the scrotum passing down through the hole and
hanging weights from the chains.
PE
Acronym for power exchange. A relationship in which the submissive
grants the Dominant consent to make erotic decisions.
Percussion Play
An umbrella term used to describe all forms of striking. Spanking,
paddling, slapping, whipping, flogging, and caning are all types of
percussion play. AKA impact play.
Permanent Piercing
Refers to the implantation of body jewelry (such as nipple rings).
Petticoat Training
When a dominant "forces" a male submissive to wear ruffled slips, both
to cross-dress and humiliate him.
Play
A popular term to describe kinky encounters. "Players" usually means
lifestylers or people with Scene experience. "Heavy players" or
"hardcore players" are those who prefer intense S&M.
Play Partner
Generally refers to anyone with whom one has BDSM encounters, but more
specifically implies a casual, for-kinky-sex only friendship and not a
committed, romantic relationship.
Play Piercing
A form of radical S&M play in which needles or other piercing implements
are temporarily inserted in flesh, either as part of a ritual (sometimes
spiritual) or for the erotic pleasure of the pain it brings.
Play Space
Alternate term for a dungeon. Any space regularly used for S&M scenes.
Ponyboy/Ponygirl
The submissive or bottom who plays the role of a horse in an animal play
relationship.
Power Exchange
The consensual transfer of power by the submissive to the Dominant. The
exchange takes place when the returned energy from the Dominant empowers
the submissive. Put more simply, what happens in a BDSM scene when the
bottom agrees to be submissive and/or gives up control to the top.
Puppy
The submissive or bottom who plays a dog in an animal play relationship.
Pushy Sub
Also known as a greedy sub or someone who tops from the bottom. Usually
used playfully in reference to a submissive who likes a lot of play, and
will act naughty to get the Dominant to take action. It can also be used
to refer to submissives who push so hard that they turn Dominants off.
Queening
When a female Dominant sits astride a person's face and forces her cunt
into their mouth and nose. Could be simply for cunnilingus or practiced
as a form of breath control.
Rack
Item of bondage furniture consisting of a horizontal platform or table
with fixing points allowing someone to be stretched out on their back or
front with easy access all around.
Riding Crop
Short whip with a loop of leather on the end intended for use on horses
but very useful and adaptable on humans, too.
Rimming
Also known as giving a rim job or "tossing salad." Mouth contact with
the anus, including insertion of the tongue inside it. More common than
you might think in vanilla sex. In BDSM it may be as a form of service
performed on a top by a bottom. But, in view of the intensity of the
sensation, it could go either way. Hygiene precautions should be
observed with this activity. Unless the area is cleaned thoroughly,
including enemas, there is likely to be scat around, which may, of
course, be the object of the exercise.
R/L
Acronym for real life.
Rope
The cheapest, most widely available and most versatile bondage device.
Medium thickness nylon rope is usually preferred by beginners.
Rubber
After leather, easily the most popular fetish material. It tends to be
more popular in Europe, where items can be obtained fairly
inexpensively. In the US it is very expensive. It mainly takes the
form of clothing, hoods, and bondage items made out of latex sheeting.
As with leather, black is the most popular color.
R/T
Acronym for "real time." A term which came from the Internet to
distinguish "real" (in the flesh) from online or email relationships.
Sadism
Sexual gratification obtained by the infliction of physical or mental
pain on others. This word is derived from the Marquis de Sade, a French
nobleman whose perverse sexual preferences and erotic writings gave rise
to this term.
Sadist
One with a propensity for obtaining sexual gratification by inflicting
pain or humiliation.
Safe Word
Also called stop word, stop code, or safety code. This is a word or
expression that partners agree upon, which gives the bottom the right to
stop the action. A "safe gesture" is used if the submissive or bottom
is gagged or otherwise incapable of speaking.
Saline Infusion
A form of edge play in which IV grade saline, a sterile mixture of pure
salt and water (not to be confused with contact lens saline), is
injected into the labia, scrotum, or breasts. Swelling and increased
sensation results. The saline is compatible with the body and is
absorbed by the tissues after several hours.
SAM
Acronym for "smart ass masochist." A bottom or submissive who likes to
verbally tease and otherwise act feisty with a Dominant, usually in
hopes of a little extra discipline.
Sapiosexual
Someone who is sexually attracted to someone based on intelligence.
Scat
Also known as scat play, refers to excrement. Poop, to put it more
plainly. This may include enemas, brown showers, watching or being
watched while expelling, being ordered to soil one's pants (or ordering
someone), and (yes, I'm afraid so) eating poop. You can't eat poop
without putting yourself at risk of disease. It is true that some people
who do this don't get sick. Some people who step in front of speeding
cars don't get run over, either. Human feces (unlike urine) is, by its
very nature, infested with bacteria. Bacteria is what breaks food down
and turns it into waste in our alimentary canals. Those bacteria remain
alive in our waste after our bodies eliminate it. A bacterial infection
transmitted by ingesting feces can be FATAL! There is no absolute way to
protect yourself against getting one. It is purely luck of the draw, so
to speak. Therefore, ingestion, while a perfectly acceptable fantasy,
can never be acted out with a guarantee of safety.
Scene
There are several definitions for this word. The Scene (always with a
capital S) refers to the S&M/fetish/leather worlds. To "be in the Scene"
means that one participates, even if only nominally, in organized events
and considers oneself a member of this subculture. To be "out in the
Scene" means that you are a known player. A scene (always with a
lowercase S) refers to one's kink or fetish, as in "My scene is feet"
(i.e., the person has a foot fetish). A scene (also with a lowercase S)
refers to a time limited S&M encounter; the synonym of session (see
below). "I did a hot bondage scene with him." To scene: unfortunately
for those of us who are sticklers on grammar, another definition is "to
do S&M," as in "I scened with her the other day" or "I'll be scening
with him next week." Good God! It's as bad as "ain't."
Session
Professional Dominants refer to their time with a client as a "session."
The term has, however, spread out into the general community to refer to
any time limited S&M encounter. ("I had a great session with her at the
club last night.")
Sharps
Knives, razors, or any other instruments used in edge-play.
Sissy
May also be called sissy slut. Refers to a submissive male cross-dresser
or a male submissive who is panty trained, even though he is not
actually a transvestite. A "sissy maid" is a male, cross-dressed in a
maid's uniform, who performs household duties and otherwise serves his
Dominant.
Slapper
A percussion instrument with a hinged second surface to produce extra
loud noise on contact.
Slave
Once used more generally for an S&M bottom, this is now becoming limited
to refer to a submissive in a long term D/s relationship. The slave
commits to a total power exchange in which the Dominant's power goes
beyond the realm of sex and enters daily affairs. There are also those
that believe, to be a slave, the sub should have no limits and give up
their right to a safe word.
Slave Contract
A document written cooperatively by the Dominant and the submissive in
which the negotiated terms of their relationship are set out in clear
language. Contracts are usually term-limited: 3 months, 6 months, a
year. Some couples sign permanent contracts, vowing a lifetime
commitment.
S&M
Acronym for sadism and masochism. Also written as SM, S/M, and S/m.
The abbreviation for sadomasochism, the derivation of sexual pleasure
from the infliction of physical or mental pain either on others or on
oneself.
Smoking
An S&M/fetish activity in which the bottom is aroused by the sight,
smell, touch, or taste of the Dominant's smoking. Often submissives
enjoy it when dominants blow smoke on them, particularly in their face.
Some smoking fetishists like to role play as the top's ashtray.
Spanking
Hitting someone with the palm of the hand, typically on the buttocks, as
a form of corporal punishment. A similar physical effect can be achieved
by using a paddle. Some spanking purists argue that proper spanking is
done with the hand only.
SSC
Acronym for safe, sane, and consensual. It is the fundamental ethical
standard of kinky sex. It means that all activity between adults should
be "safe" (no form of pain or stimulation that causes harm), "sane"
(with respect for both body and mind), and consensual (all partners
involved are adults who are able to give informed consent).
Submissive
A woman or man who yields sexual (and possibly more far reaching)
control to a dominant partner.
Submission
The act of yielding to the control of a Dominant.
Subspace
The euphoric, detached state that submissives experience in service to
(or during a scene with) their Dominant. Commonly attributed to the
rush of endorphins experienced by a submissive during play.
Switch
Someone who switches D/s roles. It can apply to someone who switches
roles with one partner (sometimes being on top, sometimes being on
bottom); or to someone who switches according to the natural dynamic
between several partners (for example, someone may be exclusively
dominant with one partner and exclusively submissive with a different
partner). Also includes people who primarily take one role, but will
switch on special occasions or with certain people only. A person that
switches from dominant to submissive from scene to scene or within a
scene.
Toilet Slave
Someone who has a fetish for serving the Dominant's toilet habits or who
has a fetish for being ordered to clean or worship toilets. May also
refer to someone who wishes to role play as a toilet.
Top
A person who gives pain or bondage in an S&M scene, but who may or may
not have a power relationship with the bottom. Also used as a verb ("to
top").
Top's Disease
Refers to the clueless attitude some tops or dominants develop when
their egos get so big that they offend and insult others. One form would
be the delusion that being dominant means one has the right to command
all the submissives one meets. Another is the delusion that the top is
infallible.
Toys
Adult toys, particularly ones used for S&M play, both large scale and
small equipment. Everything from anal lube to zappers.
TPE
The acronym for "total power exchange," usually referring to a lifestyle
relationship in which the submissive grants the Dominant blanket consent
to make all decisions, erotic and otherwise.
Trampling
An S&M/fetish activity in which the bottom is aroused by the Dominant
walking or standing on him/her. Often submissives enjoy it when
dominants stand on their face or genitalia. Some trampling fetishists
like to role play as the top's doormat.
Tranny
Abbreviated nickname for transsexual. Commonly refers to a
male-to-female transsexual, usually pre-operative.
Tranny Chasers
The ardent male suitors of male-to-female transsexuals. Generically,
anyone with a fetish for transgenderists.
Transgenderist
Someone who either enjoys or needs to express an opposite sex identity.
Biological males who have female identities are called male-to-female or
m-t-f. Biological females who have male identities are female-to-male or
f-t-m.
Transvestite
Also known as TV or cross-dresser. Sometimes abbreviated to "X-dresser"
in writing. Someone (usually male), who finds emotional and/or erotic
gratification wearing opposite sex clothing. Many, but not all,
transvestites are aroused by the clothes and shoes themselves. It is
estimated that roughly 2-3% of all men cross-dress. The vast majority of
transvestites are heterosexual males. "Drag queens" are gay men who
cross-dress to seduce other men and "female impersonators" are cabaret
performers. With rare exceptions, neither drag queens nor female
impersonators are aroused by the clothes themselves.
Transsexual
Also known as TS. Sometimes abbreviated "Tranny." Someone who believes
s/he was born in the wrong sex body, and often seeks to make physical
changes. It is estimated the one out of every 30,000 men and one out of
every 100,000 women are transsexual. A "pre-operative transsexual" is
someone who has taken some steps towards change--hormone therapy, breast
implants (for male-to-female) or breast removal (for female-to-male),
electrolysis, plastic surgery--but has not yet had "sexual reassignment
surgery" (the medical procedure which alters genitalia). A
"post-operative transsexual" is someone who has completed the process by
undergoing surgery to change her or his sex and, from then on, lives as
a full-fledged member of the opposite sex. Some transsexuals do not
want sexual reassignment surgery and instead opt to live as
hermaphrodites, with the secondary characteristics of both sexes. The
slang, but not necessarily flattering, terms for male-to-female
hermaphrodites are "chicks with dicks" and "she-males."
Triskellion
The BDSM emblem. The three divisions represent the various threesomes
of BDSM. First of all, the divisions of BDSM itself; B&D, D&S, and
S&M. Secondly, the creed of BDSM behavior; safe, sane, and consensual.
Lastly, the three divisions of the BDSM community; dominants,
submissives, and switches. The holes represent the incompleteness of
any individual within the BDSM context. There remains a void within
individuals that can only be filled by a complimentary other. BDSM
cannot be done alone. The metal color of the medallion represents the
chains of BDSM Ownership/servitude. The three inner fields are black,
representing a celebration of the controlled dark side of BDSM
sexuality. The all-embracing circle represents the unity of it all and
the oneness of a community that protects its own.
TT
Acronym for tit torture. Any form of intense stimulation inflicted on female breasts.
Urolagnia
A paraphilia in which sexual excitement is associated with the sight or
thought of urine or urination.
Urophagia
The drinking of urine.
Vanilla
A non-kinky person. It can apply to any heterosexual or homosexual who
does not care for kinky sex. There are two differing roots for this
term. Some claim it refers to the plainness of "vanilla ice cream" (as
opposed to those who like more adventurous flavors). Others believe it
comes from techno-culture, where a "vanilla" PC means a very basic
machine, without bells and whistles.
Verbal Abuse
Also known as VA. This refers to the cruel or mocking insults and
threats that a sadistic top will shower on an emotionally masochistic
bottom to push him or her further into subspace. It is the linguistic
and emotional (as opposed to physical) version of pain play.
WAM
Acronym for wet and messy. A form of play that utilizes any wet or
messy substance, such as mud, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, milk, or
water.
Water Sports
A general category which includes golden showers, enemas, and other
erotic interactions involving body waste.
Wax Play
Hot wax is dripped or poured onto the submissive's flesh by the
Dominant. A pre-application of oil or lube will prevent burns to the
skin. Ordinary household candles should not be used, as they burn too
hot. Specially made candles are readily available online or in adult
stores.
WIITWD
Acronym for "What it is that we do." This term was spawned on the
Internet, where it gained popularity as the best single way to refer,
non-judgmentally, to the wide variety of ways people do kinky sex.
